: Status Meh.

Two months minus nine days. That's how long it's been since my last update. I just really haven't felt like writing anything. Or rather, I have, but I haven't felt like writing about what I've had to write about. Not that there's really been much to write about anyway. So I figured I'd just write a small update on what's been going on. So, let's see...

Well, first of all, that whole thing with Lisa, that never really was anything, is now definitely nothing. Long story short; I screwed up again. I think. I really don't know, to be honest. I think maybe I did what I usually do, and pushed too hard, got too intense about it. And that's... Bad. The whole thing went back and forth a lot, particularly the last couple of months, and in the end she said it was better to end it. Claiming that it would be better for me to find someone who had time for me. Which I guess is true. But probably not the whole story. So yeah, she's gone from my life. And there's no one else at the moment. Seriously, there's no one. And that is... Weird.

I did have some sort of "date" a while back, the day after my previous update actually, which I had a good feeling about when we parted. Unfortunately, she didn't see it the same way. I mean, she also thought the "date" went well, but she "friendzoned" me later that evening. I just didn't want to deal with that, so I just... Dropped her. The absolute last thing I need right now is to just be friends with yet another girl that I have a crush on. It was bad enough the last time.

So, yeah.

Um... What else has been happening that last couple of months? Not much, really. I've been talking to social services and my doctor about my sleep, and particularly how it affects my ability to function even with the almost normal sleep cycle I have now, and I had a meeting to discuss it with both at the same time but it was cancelled for some reason. Essentially, though, what the doctor said is that there are two more things we can try; Up the strength of the medication, and light therapy. Stronger meds might make the nights that I still can't fall asleep be even less frequent than they are now. It doesn't happen often, but I'm completely fucked up when it does. I'm not so sure about the light therapy, though. Normally, it would work. But as far as I've understood, I'm not affected by light and dark the same way normal people are. I don't get tired when the sun goes down. I don't wake up when the sun comes up. But, I'm gonna try. If we decide to. It all comes down to how expensive it is, really.

And, yeah... That's the most important things, I guess. A couple of minor thing;

• I've shaved my beard and cut my hair super-short. So now I don't look like an amish guy anymore. I look like a lesbian. Sort of. Although I have a five-day beard right now, so probably not so much.
• Fiber-connection is just around the corner, hopefully. I have all the stuff, I just need it to be activated. Which will happen on Monday, according to the letter I got. I don't believe it until it's actually up and running, though.
• My motivation to work out has been completely gone the last month. I blame the season. And my lack of a "focus", so to speak. But, I'm seeing a personal trainer of sorts next Monday, so... Yeah. Managed to keep my weight stable, though.
• I have a new toilet. The plumber was here to fix the old one, which we thought had a leak around the bottom. Turned out the leak was on the cistern-thing in the back, and it was both cheaper and easier to just switch out the whole thing than to try fixing it.

And that's an update on my life at the moment.

I need a girlfriend.