: 2012 - Looking Back | 2013 - Looking Forward

Looking Back

2012 was a weird year for me. It started off with something I had hoped I never had to do, which was breaking up with someone I was still very much in love with. It's actually one year ago tomorrow. I still wish it hadn't happened, but there's not much I can do about it now. And, as I've said before, it was probably for the best. At least now we're still friends, something we might not have been if we had kept on trying.

A couple of months later I started talking seriously with another girl, and spent the next 6+ months trying to make something happen there. 6+ months of disappointment and bad choices. No matter what I tried, something always came in the way, and a couple of months ago she decided that it wasn't really worth it. Or, as she said, it would be better for me to find someone who had time for me. Which I guess is true. 

I'm still looking.

In February we went down to the Netherlands to celebrate Ronald's birthday and Aldert's marriage anniversary. And in September, a bunch of them came to Norway to visit us in Hemsedal. Fun times, both times. I feel like every time I spend time with them I get a slightly better grasp of the Dutch language, at least I understand it a bit better. I'm still far off from being able to speak it, and I just can't learn it on my own. There has been some talk about me going down there for a while, to stay there for a few weeks and learn the language that way, but it's not really a top priority for anyone at the moment, unfortunately.

In April, I think it was, I had a big "falling out" (the problem was mostly on my part, really) with someone I'd had a very close relationship with for a long time, someone that I think knows me better than most people do, and I had to do something else that I never really wanted to do; Remove someone completely from my life. However, when someone has been such a big part of your life (without actually being a part of my life), it's hard to really forget about them. And I've often caught myself thinking about her. I've recently started talking to her a bit again, but due to our complicated past, I feel like I can't let her back into my life in the same way as before.

I've lost quite a lot of weight this year. Although, considering it's been an entire year, it's not really that much. And I still have a long way to go. But whatever. My weight has for the most part slowly but steadily gone down. And particularly after I got the elliptical trainer. I'm not really sure what my weight was a year ago, 'cause I didn't have a scale back then, but I think it was about 135kg. I'm now down to about 122kg. So about 13kg in a year, that's not too bad. Unfortunately, the last couple of months have been absolutely horrible for my motivation and energy, so I haven't really worked out at all. I probably could've been below 120 by now. Oh well.

After I broke up with my ex I decided I wasn't gonna go back to my old self, I wasn't gonna become a shut-in again like I was before. I don't really remember anymore what my plan actually was, but the point of it was to get out more and spend more time with friends. I'm sorry to say that I haven't really followed up on that. I don't really know why. It just never happened. I guess part of it is because I don't have any way of getting around on my own. And I've never really been the kind of guy that goes anywhere without there being a special occasion anyway... So, yeah. I want to change that, I just don't know how.

On major thing that has changed since this time last year, is my apartment  A year ago it was filled with all kinds of stuff and trash, it was a complete chaos. In a way there's still a bit to do, but compared to back then it's infinitely better. Unfortunately it seems I won't get that help cleaning my apartment properly that I was promised for most of 2012. For some reason it was impossible for social services to dig up someone who could do it for me, which I find really odd. And I don't really know what has happened to the whole deal now. It would've been so nice to get this fixed, to have my apartment cleaned properly by someone who knows what they're doing, but... It seems it's not gonna happen.

And that's all the significant things I can remember about 2012 right now.

Looking Forward

I don't really have any plans for 2013. Well, except for one. I was lucky enough to get enough money to start working on my driver's license, so I'm gonna do that soon. Not sure when, but I'm gonna go down and talk to someone some day soon. I just want to get some other stuff sorted out first, if I can. Other than that, I don't really know what I want to do this year. I can't even think of anything significant that's relevant to me that'll happen this year. So... Yeah. But I guess having one plan is better than none. Everything else is just "business as usual"; Keeping up with the changed lifestyle and getting back to working out. Hopefully lose another 12kg, or more.

Right now, though, I'm not gonna do anything. Yesterday I had my last wisdom tooth pulled, and area around was seriously infected, so it still hurts quite a bit. It was also really stuck in there, so the dentist had to really use his might to get it out, which means it's also really sore. Painkillers work, fortunately, and it's a lot more manageable than before it was pulled, but it still wears me out pretty fast. Eating and drinking is a bit awkward too, as I want to disturb the healing as little as possible. So for now I'm gonna care about nothing, and probably go sleep a bit. 

See ya.