: Walk of Life

Been quite a while since my last update now. No wonder, as there haven't been a lot going on lately. Mostly just waiting for a couple of things to happen that never happens.

I'm still waiting for the help I was gonna get with properly cleaning my apartment. Apparently, the people they had found to help me are working under the table, or whatever the expression is. Basically they don't pay taxes. And as a governmental department, NAV can't exactly support that. So I don't know what is going on there. Hopefully they figure something out soon. I've come to a point that I'm really just maintaining what I have already done. There's very little actual progress going on here.

The other major thing I'm waiting for is... Private. I just hope it happens soon. =)

As for my working out, I've tried out a few new exercises that I think works fairly well. I've also gotten an elliptical trainer, and that thing is really rough. I've tried using one of those before, but I had forgotten just how hard it is. Tried using it for the first time yesterday, and I could barely do 3x4 minutes. Actually, I couldn't, the second attempt was only 3,5 minutes. They say it's one of the best machines to use for fat-burning, though, so I hope that's true.

I was at the nutritional adviser again today, for my monthly diabetes check-up, and she wasn't very pleased with my sugar levels. She talked to my actual doctor for a few minutes, and they concluded that I should increase my diabetes medication dosage drastically. Up until now I've only taken one in the morning and one before bed. Now I have to take two in the morning, two mid-day, and two before bed. That's three times as much as before. Apparently this will also help with my weight-loss, so... Yeah. I'm crossing my fingers for that. For the next two weeks, though, I'll have to keep a very close eye on my sugar levels, in case it goes too low.

Oh, and the fiber-connection will take longer than expected. Apparently, there's a specific area that will get it first, and I'm just outside that area. They've been around setting up posts in front of all the houses that will get it now, I see them everywhere, but not one in the part of the street that I'm on. I got a letter from Telenor as well, saying that I won't get it until January. So, yeah. Bah. I guess this means that when I have LANs with more than four people, any games that require being connected to the internet will be absolutely lowest priority.

The title this time is from Dire Straits' "Walk of Life".

: Bleh.

I need to pull myself together again. The last few days have been absolutely terrible. I don't know why, but each day have been worse then the one before.

Last weekend I had a LAN, and it was awesome. When the LAN was over, I decided that this week I'd try to work out a little bit every day. Instead of two massive sessions a week, I'd try one small session every day. It started out fine, I managed to do a one short session on Monday, and a slightly longer one on Tuesday. I really pushed myself, though, even though for some reason my heart rate just wouldn't go up on the last cycle set. On Wednesday I just did not have the energy to jump on the bike, so I just did some push-ups. The rest of the day I barely did anything. And then yesterday was just awful. I spent most of the day on the couch, I even fell asleep for about three hours at one point. I just didn't have any energy, didn't want to do anything. I absolutely hate feeling like that.

I'm still not feeling too good today. I think I need to get outside. I have to go shopping anyway, something I really should've done two days ago. Hopefully that will make me feel better.

: No early riser.

I've noticed something new about my sleep-pattern recently...

During the last few months, I've had my phone set to wake me up rather early in the morning. I started off at 9am for a quite a while, then about a month back or so I moved it back to 8:30. That might not be considered very early to most people, but to me it is. Anyway, that's not the point, as that is working out rather good. The problem occurs when I for one reason or another wake up earlier than that. Particularly earlier than 7am. I don't know what it is, but it seems that around 7-7:30 is some sort of "tipping point" for me, possibly related to my sleep disorder.

Say I wake up at 7:45. That's all good, I'm up and feeling fine and can go about my day like any other. There's really no difference between then and 8:30, no matter if I went to bed at 11pm or 1am. But then say I wake up at 6:45, like today. I wake up feeling fine and well rested, ready to handle just about anything. Then two hours later, I'm so tired again I feel like I'm being tortured having to stay awake. It doesn't make sense that that one hour affects me that much. Particularly as I can go to bed at 1am, wake up at 7:45 and feel good all day, but if I go to bed at 11pm and wake up at 6:45, I feel awful. That's one more hour of total sleep, and it's still killing me. Light and weather doesn't seem to affect it either, it happens just as much in summer and winter, on bright sunny days and grey rainy days.

I've been thinking about this, and I think it's very likely that it is related to my sleep disorder. I think about 7-7:30am is my "falling asleep" time, where my body normally wants to fall asleep and relax. If I'm already asleep then, it doesn't have any effect, and I can wake up just after and feel well rested. But if I wake up before that, then it will affect me, even though I've used the melatonin to "jump-start" the same process only a few hours earlier. I know my sleep pattern is very delayed, I've known for several years now even though it wasn't diagnosed until just a year and a half ago, but I guess it's so delayed that the effect of the melatonin pills I take has essentially worn off by the time the real process is supposed to begin? It's really the only thing I can think of that explains this weird phenomenon.

I don't have anything to base this off, other than my own experience. I don't know if this is what's actually going on, or if I'm way off. It's just annoying, and I wish I could prevent it somehow. I guess I'll have to ask my doctor the next time I'm there what she thinks.

: Live is Life?

Finally had a LAN again this weekend. Not a big LAN, there were only three of us, but it was still fun. Unsurprisingly, we only played Diablo III (do not click that link if you don't want to diminish your enjoyment of the game). But, my fears for any upcoming LANs were confirmed; My connection is so bad that it's almost impossible to play Diablo III while anyone else is using the internet in any other way. Basically, what that means, is that for the time being, even when my apartment have been properly cleaned (which apparently wont happen until sometime in July), I wont have any bigger LANs. Unless those attending play games that doesn't require being online, of course. But there's fewer and fewer of those coming out, so... Eh. I want Torchlight II.

My connection will hopefully be fixed sometime during the next six months. A guy from Telenor went around the neighborhood a couple of weeks ago, getting people to sign up for fiber-optic connections, saying that if 80% of the neighborhood signed up they'd begin digging and building the new infrastructure for the fiber-optic during the summer and finish in about six months. From what I heard there was only one household that didn't sign a contract. I've no idea what will actually happen when, though, so... Yeah. It'll happen when it happens. I'm really looking forward to when it does happen, I'm so sick and tired of this crappy connection.

There hasn't been much else going on the last week. I can't even really remember much of last week, but that's probably because I spent most of it either in Sanctuary, or working out. Speaking of working out, on Wednesday I went for a walk again and walked for a mile. That is a metric mile, 10 kilometers. It wasn't the best idea I've ever had considering the heat that day, and the fact that the soles on my shoes were almost completely worn out. I still have a blister under my foot. The next day I heard that a newly opened sports store had major discounts on walking/running shoes, so now I got a new pair. Can't wait to try them out, they feel a lot better than the old ones, which I'm pretty sure were only made for inside sports.

Today's title is from the song "Live is Life" by Opus. Still looking for more songtitles with the word "life".

: It's my life!

This past week I've basically done nothing but play Diablo III. I'm not gonna write about that here, though, as I'm in the process of writing a post about it over on Eqagames. Although, you probably don't want to read that when I publish it if you don't want to diminish your enjoyment of the game. I'm pretty much just going over everything that I find disappointing about the game, compared to Diablo II.

Other than that, I've been working out quite a lot recently. I'm not sure what's going on, but for some reason I actually want to do it, which is a really, really... Weird feeling for me. I've always been the kind of guy who've shunned any kind of exercise, and up until recently all the exercise I really did was walking, which I've done very little of lately. But I've started using the exercise bike a lot more recently (although I wish I had one that was better, if anyone knows about one I could get cheap).

I'll admit that the first few times I really hated it, my legs really did not want to cooperate with me and started hurting almost immediately. But I've managed to push through that part and while it still feels a bit uncomfortable after a while, it's a lot better than it was. To compare; Back when I wrote this post I could only do 5+2x10 minutes. Two days ago I did 5+4x10+15 minutes. Today I did 5+3x10+15, one less 10min set than two days ago, but faster than before. It feels pretty good. I'm a bit curious if this has translated into any improvement in my walking, so I think I'll go for a walk out towards Odnes again sometime in the next couple of days.

My push-ups have also improved, although I'm a bit inconsistent in how many I do. Two days ago I did 5x7, today I did 4x8. But whatever, it's definitely an improvement over the 3x8 I wrote about last time, which was my absolute limit at that point. I've also started doing sit-ups, but again I have no idea if I'm doing it right. The description over at Fitocracy says I have to anchor my feet under something, and I don't have anything I can properly anchor my feet under. I tried using the exercise bike, but it's a bit too light, I keep lifting it with my feet. It also says I have to be "fully upright", but I just can't do that yet. Either way, I feel it in my abs, and I guess that's what counts. Isn't it?

The most amazing part, to me, is how much better I feel, mentally, when I do work out. After about four days of gaming Diablo III, and one 17th of May eating lots of stuff I shouldn't, I was feeling rather crappy, both mentally and physically. Then I got on the bike and when I was done I felt great! Again, I've always stayed away from exercising, but looking at it now I can't understand why.

Oh, and I've gotten a couple of questions about the girl I wrote about in my last life-update, and, well... I still don't want to talk too much about it, as there's not too much to talk about yet. I will say this, though; I like her more and more the more I interact with her. And as far as I can tell, the feeling is mutual. But yeah, I still haven't actually met her. I'm hoping it wont be too long until we do meet, but it'll happen when it happens. 

And... Yeah. That's about it.

Btw; Give me song-titles with the word "life" in the title, that are appropriate for blog-posts about general life-updates. Like, last time I used "That's Life" by Frank Sinatra, and this time it's "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi. I just thought I'd make that a thing. =P

: Not one for book-learnin'.

I am not a book-person. I wish I was, as I imagine there are quite a few amazing books out there, but I just can't bring myself to actually read. I guess I've been spoiled by games, movies and TV-series when it comes to pacing in story-telling. Although, then again maybe not. Maybe I've always been this way.

Fiction

When I was younger, up to about 13-14, I did read books. Not a lot, but I read some. I particularly enjoyed the Narnia-books, and I've also read three of four different versions of Robinson Crusoe. And a few other random books here and there, like a very long and complicated version of the Jungle Book. But there's one thing I found time and time again, and that is that I am unable to stay focused during the "down-time" in books. If the "action" is put on hold for some mundane side-story or drawn-out character development or whatever, my mind starts drifting and suddenly I've read a couple of pages without actually knowing what I've read, resulting in having to go back and re-read a usually incredibly boring part of the book.

This is part of the reason why I don't sit down and read books, 'cause I know there will be these parts in the book, and I know I'll drift off when reading them, which makes what should've been an enjoyable experience very tedious and annoying. And I can't exactly skip these parts either, 'cause then I might miss important plot points, and something that happens later will make no sense to me. Not to mention that skipping ahead in a book is essentially a guessing game. In movies and TV-series, and to some degree games, you usually don't have that problem. There's always something real you can focus on to keep you interested in what's going on, and if it's based on a book, the most boring parts have most likely been cut or edited to make a long point short.

Non-Fiction

Frustratingly, this also happens whenever I'm studying something. Whether it be randomly searching up something on Wikipedia, or actually reading a schoolbook or similar. I think this is part of the reason why, several years ago now, when I was supposed to be studying privately and pass the basic "college" subjects without actually going to school, I basically just screwed the whole thing. I don't remember anymore what subjects those were, as I never even got to do most of the exams, because the school screwed up and sent the info to the wrong address. The only one I did was English, on which I got a 4/6. Based on my grasp of the English language, the sensor said I should've gotten a 5, but based on my knowledge of American history (which was the subject for that year, for some reason, I never understood what history and stuff like that has to do with a language subject) I was supposed to fail, as I hadn't studied it at all. So I got a 4.

Whenever people say that I'm smart and should sit down and study and fulfill my potential and whatever, I act like I'm flattered, but really I'm just annoyed and frustrated. 'Cause I know that it's true; If I really do sit down and study something that I find interesting, I loose myself in reading it, and I can often understand it rather easily. But I also know that most of the stuff that I have to study to get any kind of education will be boring as hell, and then my mind will start to drift, I'll get annoyed because I have to read stuff over and over because I didn't pay attention the first eighteen times, and eventually I'll just give up and throw the book out the window. I just don't have the focus needed to do something like that. I wish I did, but I don't. Damnit, there's even been times where I've drifted away because I find my own writing too boring.

Conclusion

So... Yeah. This is part of the reason why I don't read that much. Again, I wish I didn't have this problem, 'cause I'd love to be able to study, experience and learn through reading. I mean, I still do that, but... I'd like to do in a larger scale, so to speak. But this just happens. Even when I try to focus on focusing, my mind drifts away thinking about focusing, and I again don't learn anything.


TL;DR: TL;DR.


And some questions in the hope of getting some response:
How do you experience reading something that you find boring or uninteresting?
Have you ever given up on studying something/reading a book?

: Status: Unconfirmed.

The last few days have been a bit weird. There's something in the back of my brain, gnawing at me, but I can't seem to focus on what it is and deal with it. Hopefully I can pry it out soon and exterminate it, as it's taking away my ability to concentrate. It's even difficult to write without getting distracted. But I'll try. 

Confirmation Yay 

I don't know if "confirmation" is the actual work used for this type of ceremony in English, and I don't feel like looking it up right now. But whatever the case, I was visiting my mom this weekend because of my sister, Silje's, confirmation. A civil confirmation, not a christian one, which I was very happy and relieved about. It was a very nice event in many ways. The actual ceremony was not boring, which surprised me. I don't think I've ever been to any confirmation ceremony before, neither civil, christian nor other, at least not that I can remember, but I've always imagined it to be dreadfully boring. And I guess that if it had been christian, it probably would have been.

My sister Therese, me, my half-sister Silje, my brother Stian, and Silje's half-sister Marie.

The best part about the whole deal, though, was after the ceremony, at the party. No, not because of the food or cakes (although both were delicious), but because we got to meet people from my sister's father's family (yeah, she's actually my half-sister), that I barely get to meet anymore. Now, I, being my usual halfway introverted and socially awkward self, didn't actually talk to too many of them. But it was still nice. I sort of wish more of the people from their family had been there, though, but the place was already rather full. 

Confirmation Boo 

I must admit, though, that part of me is feeling... Slightly pissed off at the whole confirmation thing. Or rather, slightly pissed off at my ex-step-father's (my sister's father) influence back when I was supposed to have been confirmed. You see, back then, he was so strongly against a civil confirmation that he convinced my mom that I couldn't have that. And I absolutely refused to do it in church, as I am as far from a religious person as you can get, even back then. My other sister didn't get confirmed either, for the same reason. My brother was fortunate enough to live with our father when it was his time, so he got to choose what he wanted, and got his civil confirmation. 

And yes, I'll also admit that the main reason I'm slightly pissed off about this, is because of the money I didn't get. There wasn't really much else I cared about. I didn't, and still really don't, know what a civil confirmation actually involves. I didn't really feel any peer pressure or social stigma from being one of the few, if not the only, person not to get confirmed, as at that time I was already more or less an outcast. It's really mostly the money, and the party, that I didn't get that really annoys me about it. As well as the fact that my ex-step-father really shouldn't have had any say in the matter. The fact that he now let his own daughter get the confirmation she wanted, while also making me (as mentioned) happy and relieved, makes me even more pissed off about it.

Oh well.


I guess I should add some questions to the end if I ever want some response on these blog posts.

What's your opinion on confirmations, both civil and christian (or other)?
Should step-parents have much influence on children's lives if both real parents are still involved?